Well, the Apocalypse is upon us. Oprah has announced the end of her talk show in 2011. I think I heard the collective gasp of millions of desperate, Eckhart Tolle -loving upper middle class women who actually believe they can be whatever they want just with the mere power of their positive thoughts. Let's face it people, without Oprah, how will these people learn how to be happy? Whose Things will they love, covet, and acquire? I suspect Glade candles will see an uptick in retail sales while Manolo Blahnik credit card charges will plummet. Cashmere pajamas made by oppressed women in a third world country will return to being the province of in-the-know uber-wealthy socialites, not soccer moms. No one will know how to look sad and touched when faced with the gruesomeness of reality. I fear for the self-esteem of millions. The Mayans got nothing on Oprah fucking Winfrey.