It is mid May and to my mind summer is already here. When the temperature frequently gets above 70, I get cranky. Apparently, though, this reaction is uncommon, maybe even subversive. I heard a commercial earlier today touting the joys of summer-time with friends, vacations, joy, joy, joy! Honestly, though, unless you are a teacher or a student, what the hell is so special about summer? I still have to go to work every weekday only now I get to sweat profusely while I do it. I don't see my friends any more often in summer than in winter, spring or fall. Should I be excited about shorts and tank tops? You wouldn't be if you had my alabaster skin and flabby arms. Summer means extra sunscreen and the forehead zits I get from wearing hats to protect my face from the sun. Sandals you say? Well, I for one wouldn't enjoy showing everyone my ugly feet even IF I didn't have hyperhidrosis. This is a medical condition that causes my hands and feet to sweat profusely. Trust me when a say that sandals are not an option when your feet produce tablespoons of sweat by the hour. Last but not least, I reserve special disdain for all the commercials and articles dedicated to VACATION. Who the hell has money to go on vacation? Certainly not me. I don't know if anyone else has heard, but there's been a recession and high unemployment from which I was not exempt. And have you seen gas prices lately? Sometimes I feel like I am working for the gas money to get to and from my job.
So I say to hell with summer. I'm taking my sweaty, alabaster ass inside and waiting for fall.
